Marrying a woman from the people of innovation, and are conditions stipulated by the woman’s guardians binding?

I am engaged with a girl recently. My family was not happy with this engagement initially because both families are not of the same cast (Cast system is dominant here in Sub-continent).Now the things are normal. But the problem is that my parents lived in a village and I lived in another city for seek of my job and study. Some of the relatives of my spouse also live in the same village (also her relatives are not happy about this engagement. The only reason is cast difference). My mother in law is insisting that she would not be going to marry her daughter me until I buy a house at city where I am living for my job/study (I visit my parent twice a month) and also marriage ceremony will not take place at my village. They conveyed these two statements to me. I clearly told them before the engagement that I have not enough resources to buy a house in city but I will take one on rent and so far as marriage is concerned it will take place at village. But right know they are insisting to do at city and also buy house first otherwise they will break this engagement. Both of these are not possible for me and I know it in advance that my parents will also not agree to have marriage ceremony at some other place. My parents are of the view that after marriage, they will help us to shift to city. I liked the girl very much and in fact I prayed for her for many times. I fear that if I say that both of your conditions are not possible for me they will negate the engagement. I do not want to lose the girl. I am really confused about that, I know Allah will do well for me Inshahallah; I just want more on this from you. Also should I clear them about my condition once again? Please take this all in consideration and suggest me some useful guide lines fro Quran and Sunnah as soon as possible.

Praise be to Allaah.

We do not really understand what you are saying about your family and your fiancée’s family being from different castes. However, if what you mean by caste is tribe or clan or lineage, then the matter is simple and does not need any discussion from us; you will find information in question no. 13780 about this matter. 

But if what you mean by caste is that she belongs to a sect that has different beliefs than yours – and we think that you are of ahl al-sunnah (a Sunni) – then in this case we must point out to you that among the sects that claim to belong to Islam are some that are beyond the pale of Islam, and some which have deviated from the path of ahl al-sunnah wa’l-jamaa’ah. Examples of the former include the Qadianis (Ahmadis), Ismailis, Huloolis, Raafidis (Shi’ah) and the Bareilawis. Examples of the latter include the Ash’aris, Maatreedis and Murja’is. 

If your fiancée follows the beliefs of one the of sects that are beyond the pale of Islam, then it is not permissible for you to marry her, because they comes under the rulings on mushriks because of their apostasy from Islam. If she follows the beliefs of one of the misguided groups, then it is permissible for you to marry her, but you should be cautious about that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised marrying women who are religiously-committed, so that the husband’s own ‘aqeedah would be safe with her, and so that he can trust her with his family and children. 

‘Imraan ibn Hittaan was one of ahl al-Sunnah, and he married a Khaariji woman in order to set her straight, but then he ended up becoming one of the leaders of the Khawaarij. 

See: Siyar A’laam al-Nubala’ by al-Dhahabi (2/214). 

There are stern warnings narrated from the righteous salaf against sitting with and keeping company with the people of innovation and whims and desires. 

Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: 

Do not sit with people who follow whims and desires, for sitting with them sickens the heart. 

Tafseer al-Tabari (4/328). 

Abu’l-Jawza’ said: 

Because sitting with pigs is dearer to me than sitting with any of those who follow their whims and desires. 

Al-Ibaanah by Ibn Battah (2/438). 

Abu Qilaabah said: 

Do not sit with the people who follow their whims and desires, or talk with them, for I am not sure that they will not tempt you into their misguided ways or confuse you about what you know.  

Siyar A’laam al-Nubala’ (4/372). 

Whatever the case, no doubt marrying a woman from ahl al-sunnah is better for you and your family and your children, unless this woman is like that because she is living among followers of innovation, and perhaps you will be rewarded for bringing her out of that atmosphere.  

See also the answer to question no. 85370. 

Secondly: 

It is not permissible for you to hold wedding celebrations that include haraam things such as music, dancing and mixing. If that was stipulated previously, it is a false condition and you do not have to fulfil it. 

In the answer to question no. 7577 we have explained how to deal with such situations. 

In the answer to question no. 9290 you will find information on what it is permissible to use and listen to in celebrations. 

If they insist on having a party – so long as it is free of sin – then you can have two smaller parties – as is usually done by people in your situation – one in their village and another with your own people.

Thirdly: 

With regard to their stipulating that you should buy a house, they have no right to stipulate that you should do that, unless that house will be for their daughter and they want you to put it in her name. There is no reason why the wife should not stipulate that the husband provide her with accommodation in her own land, or in some other place, and after marriage she has the right, if she wishes, to keep it or waive that right. 

It is not up to the wife’s family to stipulate the conditions of marriage unless they are doing it on behalf of their daughter, or the conditions are in her interests. But if her guardian stipulates something that has nothing to do with his daughter, that is not permissible. Rather conditions are to be stipulated by the wife or by her guardian on her behalf. In principle the guardian only has the right to agree to the marriage or not. Even the mahr (dowry) belongs to the wife and she is the one who stipulates it or delegates her guardian to stipulate it on her behalf. 

The wife or her guardian may stipulate that you will live in their locality, and you are obliged to fulfil that condition, but they do not have the right to stipulate whether the house will be bought or rented. 

If you want them to drop this condition altogether, or at least agree that the house is to be rented and not bought, then you must be gentle in negotiating with them, and seek the help of knowledgeable and wise people to speak to your fiancée’s family, and pray to Allaah to make things easy for you.

 See also the answers to questions no. 20757 and 10343. 

We advise you to pray istikhaarah, for you may think that this woman will be good for you and your children when in fact that is not the case. We are ignorant and must seek the help of our Lord Who knows what is best for His slave and decrees that for him. We are helpless so we must seek the help of our Lord Who is able to make things easy or not, and He is able to divert things and prevent them from happening. For more details about the istikhaarah prayer, please see the answer to question no. 2217. 

We hope that we have answered your question fully. We would also remind you of the importance of making a good choice when seeking a wife, and choosing one who is religiously committed, follows sound beliefs and is of good character. We ask Allaah to grant you a righteous wife who can help you to obey your Lord and protect you from that which is forbidden to you. 

And Allaah knows best.

Effects of marriage resulting from an illicit relationship

There is a woman who is 27 years old and has received a proposal of marriage from a man, but her family objected because of the difference in education between them only, but the woman agreed to the marriage. The man and woman tried to convince the family to agree, and the man strove hard to improve his level of education. For four years the man and the woman tried hard to in approval because of the love between them and because they had promised before Allah that they will never part. Praise be to Allah, the family finally agreed and the marriage contract was done in the presence of the father and mother and his family and witnesses, with the blessings of all concerned. But during the previous four years there were haraam meetings between the couple. Allah is witness that they do not want to remember it, and praise be to Allah that after marriage they lived a decent life and had children, and now they have a lovely family and the couple have kept away from everything that angers Allah. Allah enabled them to go for Hajj and perform ‘umrah a number of times. They were deeply in love, by Allah's grace, until one day, after ten years, they heard one of the shaykhs on the radio saying that whoever has a haraam relationship has to announce his repentance before getting married, otherwise the marriage is invalid. From that point doubts set in: does this apply to them? In other words, should the contract be annulled or not? After all this time, from the time of the marriage contract, they did not commit any sin against Allah and they have tried to make their life good. There was no one else for either of them. Because it has been such a long time they are confused about their situation. Was there any intimacy which deserved to be punished, either by a disciplinary punishment (ta’zeer) or a hadd punishment? But what is certain is that the full consummation came after marriage, i.e., they are not certain that any immoral action took place because there is no evidence to indicate that. Are they regarded as having committed zina and does what is mentioned in Soorat al-Noor apply to them? Because from various tafseers they understood the meaning of this verse as applying to people who behave in such a manner all the time. 
This is the problem in brief. Should this marriage contract be annulled or not? If that was done before marriage because of lack of knowledge, are they to be blamed for not their lack of knowledge? What the woman remembers is that she menstruated after marriage and also before the marriage contract was done, but she is not certain of the timing, i.e., was it shortly beforehand or a long time before. One thing remains to be asked: if one of the two parties did any of these abhorrent things when he was 16 years old with someone who was younger for a while at the time of adolescence and then stopped doing that for several years, and does not think that he did it until he met the person he married, does that affect the current problem, or should he conceal it and not mention it? 
I hope that you can advise us of the solution that will protect us from meeting Allah with our faces darkened by sin before Him, and so that we may rather meet Allah with hearts that know what Allah has forbidden and have found the right way to the Hereafter. We only want to know whether their lives now are halaal or haraam, because since they found out about this matter their lives have been affected by waswaas after they were happy.

Praise be to Allaah.

We have discussed in abundant detail that which supports what you heard about it not being permissible for a Muslim man to marry a woman who is a zaaniyah and that a Muslim woman cannot marry a man who is a zaani unless they both repent and it is established that the woman is not pregnant by waiting for one menstrual cycle before getting married. 

For more details, please see the answers to questions no. 87894, 50508 and 85335. 

What we want to find out from both parties is two important matters, on which the answer will be based. 

The first is: did zina take place between them, meaning penetration, not just touching and fulfilling desire, even if ejaculation took place? 

The second is: did they repent before the marriage contract was done? 

In the light of these two matters we can answer your questions. 

If zina took place but they did not repent, then what they heard applies to their situation. 

If zina took place between them but they regretted it and repented, then their marriage is valid and there is no need to worry about it. 

If zina did not take place, rather the relationship was just touching and no penetration took place, then they cannot be called zaanis, even if ejaculation occurred and those actions constituted major sins, but it cannot be called zina unless there was penetration. 

Based on that: 

1.     If no zina took place, or it took place but they repented, then there is no need to do anything; rather they remain married but they should strive to do a lot of righteous deeds.

2.     If zina took place between them and she did not have a period before getting married, then she got married before it was proven that she was not pregnant, this means that the marriage should be annulled. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is not permissible to marry a zaaniyah until she repents. If a man wants to marry her, he must wait for one menstrual cycle to establish that she is not pregnant before doing the marriage contract with her. If it turns out that she is pregnant, it is not permissible for him to do the marriage contract with her until after she gives birth. 

Al-Fataawa al-Jaami’ah li’l-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/584 

Something similar was stated by the scholars of the Standing Committee, al-Fataawa, 18/383, 384 

3.     If zina took place between them and they did not repent, then they have to annul the marriage and wait one menstrual period to establish that she is not pregnant. He may marry her again, with a new proposal and a new contract and mahr. 

In the questions referred to above we said:  

The one who committed this sin and did the marriage contract before repenting has to repent to Allah and regret what he did, and resolve not to commit the sin again. Then he may do a new marriage contract. End quote. 

4.     If you have children from this marriage, then the children should be attributed to their father, because what happened was a dubious marriage contract and he was not aware that the contract was haraam – if he committed zina and did not repent from it. This is different from the case of illegitimate children, in which case the children are not to be attributed to the zaani, rather they should be attributed to their mother. 

The scholars of the Standing Committee said: 

The correct scholarly view is that the child cannot be attributed to the man unless the intercourse was based on a valid or invalid marriage contract or a dubious marriage contract, or ownership of the slave woman, or dubious ownership of the slave woman, in which case the child is to be attributed to the man, and they may inherit from one another. But in the case of zina, the child is not to be attributed to the zaani; the blood relationship to him is not proven and therefore he cannot inherit from him. 

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 20/387 

The one who studies the question will see that the case mentioned in the question is not quite clear. We do not know whether zina took place or not and we do not know whether repentance took place or not. We do not know whether the woman menstruated before marriage or not. All these factors affect the answer. Hence we have mentioned the answer in all cases. It may be a good idea to discuss this issue with a scholar so that the man can explain exactly what happened and the scholar may give him a detailed answer. We hope that the answer will be helpful to him and there will be no need for further questions or clarification. 

With regard to the questioner saying in his question, “But what is certain is that the full consummation came after marriage, i.e., they are not certain that any immoral action took place because there is no evidence to indicate that”, if that is true as he says, that there is no certainty that zina occurred in this case and what it is certain is that full consummation occurred after marriage, then the answer is clear from what we have said, which is that what happened does not affect the validity of the marriage at all and there is no need to annul it or do a new marriage contract, and there is no need to open the door to waswasah concerning their marriage. Rather all they have to do is fear Allah with regard to what remains and strive to do good deeds, in the hope that Allah will accept their repentance and replace their bad deeds with good for He is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. 

And Allah knows best.

He married her after she became Muslim but she does not pray

I am a rational Muslim. I told a Christian girl that I would never be able to marry her because of the difference of religion between us. She agreed to enter Islam and I married her believing that she was a Muslim. We have now been married for three years, but it seems that she does not want to pray despite all my efforts. I bought her some Islamic books on this matter. During Ramadan, she started to fast with difficulty but she is not praying up till now. What should I do (if she carries on as she is)? I have started to feel tired of reminding her to pray.

Praise be to Allaah.

In this case you have to leave her, because in this situation she has entered Islam and then left it, and this is regarded as kufr, rejecting the sound religion and apostasy from Islam. If she insists on refusing to pray and fast and do everything that is required of the Muslim, and she has not given up haraam things, then we think that you should leave her. Whoever fears Allah, He will grant him a way out. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “But if they separate (by divorce), Allaah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty” [al-Nisa’ 4:130].

Effect of apostasy on marriage before and after consummation

If a person apostatises from Islam -- Allah forbid -- and then comes back to Islam before the end of the ‘iddah period and without anyone knowing about this matter, does his wife become permissible for him without renewing the marriage contract? Does this count as one divorce (talaaq)? If he had not consummated the marriage with his wife and he apostatised -- Allah forbid - - does his wife become irrevocably divorced from him straight away regardless of whether he comes back to Islam?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

If the husband does or says something that implies apostasy from Islam, such as reviling Allah (may He be exalted) or reviling His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) or denying something that is well known to be a basic matter of Islam -- if that happens before consummating the marriage, then the marriage is annulled straight away. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If one of the spouses apostatises before consummation of the marriage, the marriage is annulled according to most scholars. But it was narrated from Dawood that (marriage) is not annulled by apostasy, because the basic principle is that the marriage remains as it is. But Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Likewise hold not the disbelieving women as wives” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10] and “send them [believing women] not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10]. The difference in religion means that intimacy is not permissible, which inevitably means annulling the marriage, as is also the case if a woman becomes Muslim whilst married to a kaafir. 

End quote from al-Mughni, 7/133 

It apostasy occurs after consummation, should they be separated immediately or should separation be delayed until the end of the ‘iddah? 

There is a difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ concerning this. 

The view of the Shafaa‘is, and the correct view according to the Hanbalis, is that if he comes back to Islam before his wife’s ‘iddah ends, then the marriage remains as is. If the ‘iddah ends before he comes back to Islam, then separation takes place and he cannot go back to his wife except with a new marriage contract. 

The view of the Hanafis and Maalikis is that apostasy means that they must be separated immediately, even if that is after consummation of the marriage. See: al-Mughni, 7/133; al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 22/198; al-Insaaf, 8/216; Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘, 5/121; Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj, 7/328; al-Fataawa al-Hindiyyah, 1/339; Haashiyat al-Dasooqi, 2/270. 

Some of the scholars say that if he repents after the ‘iddah ends, he may go back to his wife if she agrees to that and she has not married someone else. 

See: Fataawa Arkaan al-Islam by Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, p. 279, as well as the answer to question no. 21690. 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: To sum up, one of three scenarios must apply in the case of the husband who gives up prayer: 

(i)                If that happens before the marriage contract is done, the marriage is not valid and the wife does not become permissible thereby.

(ii)              If that happens after the marriage contract is done and before the marriage is consummated or the couple spends time alone together, which would make the ‘iddah obligatory, the marriage is annulled as soon as he gives up prayer.

(iii)            If that happens after the marriage was consummated or the couple spent time alone together, which would make the ‘iddah obligatory, it depends on whether the ‘iddah has ended or not. If he repents and begins to pray before the end of the ‘iddah, then she is still his wife, but if he does not do that, then when the ‘iddah ends, the marriage is annulled from the time he apostatised -- Allah forbid. In that case, if he comes back to Islam, (according to some scholars) he may take her back if he wants or (according to other scholars) he may not. There is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning this issue. End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb. 

Secondly: 

The annulment that takes place because of apostasy is not regarded as being talaaq (divorce) according to the majority of fuqaha’. 

It says in al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (7/34): If one of them apostatises before the marriage is consummated, then the marriage is annulled immediately and neither of them can inherit from the other. 

If that occurred after the marriage has been consummated, the Shaafa‘is say -- and this is also narrated in one report by the Hanbalis -- they should be separated until the end of the ‘iddah. If he comes back to Islam before the ‘iddah ends, then the marriage remains valid, but if he does not come back to Islam, the marriage is annulled with no divorce (talaaq) 

Abu Haneefah and Abu Yoosuf said -- and it is also narrated in one report by the Hanbalis -- that the apostasy of one of the spouses annuls the marriage immediately, and that does not count as a talaaq divorce, whether it occurs before consummation or afterwards. 

The Maalikis said, and this is also the view of Muhammad ibn al-Hanafiyyah: If one of the spouses apostatises, the marriage is annulled with an irrevocable divorce (talaaq). End quote. 

And Allah knows best.

Marriage after a haraam relationship in which there was no zina

A man and a woman repented from an unlawful sexual relationship, but they continued to kiss and embrace, but without a sexual relationship, then they got married after that. Is this marriage permissible?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

A relationship between a man and a woman outside of marriage, which is what is called an unlawful relationship, is haraam, regardless of the level of this relationship and whether it goes as far as an intimate relationship or zina (sexual relationship), which is the most reprehensible and abhorrent type of sins and one of the gravest of major sins that poses the greatest danger to the individual’s religious commitment and faith, or it is less than that, such as looking, touching or kissing. All of that is haraam and these are types of zina in the general sense, and are things that lead to the greater immoral action. 

See the answers to questions no. 27259, 23349 and 9465. 

Secondly: 

If marriage takes place after a haraam relationship between a man and woman, then one of the following scenarios must apply: 

1.

Either that marriage comes after an illegitimate sexual relationship, in which case the marriage is not valid except on the condition that both the man and woman repent from zina and it be established that the woman is not pregnant as a result of the haraam relationship, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “The adulterer/fornicator marries not but an adulteress/fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress/fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer/fornicater or a Mushrik [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely, he is either an adulterer/fornicator, or a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater). And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a Mushrik (polytheist, pagan or idolater) or an adulterer/fornicator, then she is either a prostitute or a Mushrikah (female polytheist, pagan, or idolatress)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers (of Islâmic Monotheism)” [al-Noor 24:3]. 

For more information please see the answer to questions no. 85335 and 11195. 

2.

That marriage comes after a haraam relationship, but the relationship did not go as far as zina, such as kissing, touching and other haraam actions that are less serious than zina. In this case the marriage is valid, because it cannot be said of those who fell into this haraam relationship that they committed zina. 

For more information please see the answer to question no. 106288. 

And Allah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and read tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was vituperated and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are necessitated if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity heart of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we keep with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the information of Quran tafseer and one inquiry that we all is necessary to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be

If he divorces his pregnant wife as the result of khula’, who should bear the expenses of the birth?

If a couple separate by means of khula’ and the wife is pregnant, should the husband bear the expenses of the birth?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If a man divorces his wife as the result of khula’ or he gives her a final talaaq, and she is pregnant, then he must spend on her and on the child according to scholarly consensus; that includes the expenses of the birth. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a man divorces his wife in an irrevocable divorce, which is either a third talaaq or khula’, or an annulment of the marriage, and she is pregnant, then she is entitled to maintenance and accommodation, according to scholarly consensus, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):  

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means, and do not harm them so as to straiten them (that they be obliged to leave your house). And if they are pregnant, then spend on them till they lay down their burden”

[al-Talaaq 65:6] 

According to some reports about Faatimah bint Qays: “You are not entitled to maintenance unless you are pregnant.” Because the pregnancy is his child, so he is obliged to spend on it and he cannot spend on him (the child) without spending on her (the mother), so it becomes binding on him to spend on her too, and he must also pay her for breastfeeding. End quote from al-Mughni (8/185). 

As the wife is pregnant, then she is entitled to maintenance, unless she lets her husband off, such as if she divorces him by khula’ on the basis that she will cover her own expenses during pregnancy, or expenses during pregnancy until she gives birth, or until the child is weaned. Ibn Qudaamah said: If a woman divorces her husband by khula’ and lets him off paying her maintenance during her pregnancy, she has no right to maintenance and neither does the child, until he is weaned. But if she divorces him by khula’ and does not let him off paying her maintenance during her pregnancy, then she is entitled to maintenance, just as if he divorced her with a third talaaq when she was pregnant, because the pregnancy is his child, and he must support it. End quote from al-Mughni (8/188). 

Ends.

Is it obligatory for the husband to provide medical treatment for his wife?

If the wife becomes temporarily or chronically ill, does the husband have to pay for her treatment? If she for example, wants to have children but suffers from problems preventing her from having children, does her husband have to seek treatment for her and pay for it? If it is not compulsory on the husband to do so, then what shall the wife do if she becomes ill while she does not have money and her husband doesn’t give her money to save?.

Praise be to Allaah.

According to the majority of fuqaha’ from the four madhhabs, the husband is not obliged to pay for medical treatment for his wife. Some of them gave the reason for that as being that it is not one of the essential needs, rather it is something extraneous. 

Imam al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Umm (8/337): The man is not obliged to offer a sacrifice on behalf of his wife or to pay the fee of a doctor or cupper for her. End quote. 

It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat (3/227): He is not obliged to provide medicine or pay the fee of a doctor if she falls sick, because these are not essential needs, rather they are incident and are not obligatory. End quote  

See: Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen (3/575); Sharh al-Kharashi ‘ala Mukhtasar Khaleel (4/178). 

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked (21/169) about a man providing medical treatment for his wife. They replied: 

There is evidence in the Qur'aan and Sunnah which enjoins kind treatment of people in general and of those who are close to one in particular. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, Allaah enjoins Al‑‘Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allaah Alone — Islamic Monotheism) and Al‑Ihsân [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allaah, totally for Allaah’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet صلىالله عليه وسلم in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin”

[al-Nahl 16:90] 

“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful”

[al-Nisa’ 4:36] 

And it is proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family.” So the Muslim must treat his family well and be kind to them. But the cost of medical treatment is not an obligation upon the husband like maintenance and accommodation. But it is prescribed for him to spend on that when he is able to, because of the general meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “and live with them honourably”[al-Nisa’ 4:19]. And because of the general meaning of the hadeeth quoted above. End quote. 

Some of the scholars are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife’s medical expenses, because that comes under the heading of kind treatment, and because the need for medicine may be no less than the need for food and drink. 

Dr. Wahbah al-Zuhayli said: The fuqaha’ of the four madhhabs stated that the husband is not obliged to pay for the medical expenses of the sick wife, such as the fees of the doctor and cupper, or the cost of the medicine, rather those expenses should be paid from her wealth if she has any wealth. If she does not have any wealth then it must be paid by one who is obliged to spend on her (such as a son, father or relative who would inherit from her), because medicine is aimed at preserving the body, so it is not required of the one who benefits from it. This is like maintenance of a building for the tenant – it is required from the landlord, not the tenant. It seems to me that in the past, medical treatment was not a basic need, so people did not usually need medical treatment, because they followed health rules and precautions. So the ijtihaad of the fuqaha’ was based on the prevalent custom during their era. But now the need for medical treatment has become like the need for food and nourishment, and even more important, because the sick person usually gives his medicine precedence over everything else. Can he eat when he is suffering pain which causes extreme anguish and exhausts him and threatens him with death? Hence I think that medical expenses are obligatory upon the husband like all other necessary expenses. Is it kind treatment for the husband to enjoy his wife when she is healthy, then to send her back to her family for them to treat her when she is sick? End quote from al-Fiqh al-Islami wa Adillatuhu (10/7380). 

Shaykh Hamad ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Hamad said in Sharh Zaad al-Mustaqni’: The second view concerning this issue is one of the views in our madhhab, that this (paying medical expenses) is required of the husband, and this is more  correct, because that is part of kindness and good treatment, and Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and live with them honourably”

[al-Nisa’ 4:19]. 

It is not part of kind or honourable treatment to let the wife get sick and not bring her a doctor or pay his fee. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable”

[al-Baqarah 2:228]. 

So the correct view is that this is obligatory. End quote. 

And Allaah knows best.

Is the husband obliged to rent accommodation for his son who is in the custody of his ex-wife?

I have a friend whose wife was wilfully defiant (nushooz), and she went back to her family's house and stayed there a year or more, during which time she gave birth to a daughter with whom she was pregnant at the time she left the house. During that year she took my friend to the sharee’ah court to prove that she had been harmed when she was married to him, but it did not bring any result, because she was found to have not been harmed. That was even the view of her last lawyer, who tried to convince her to do khula’ instead, whilst trying to persuade my friend to give up his demand for the mahr and marriage expenses, and obliging him to pay the child’s expenses, which comes to 90 Libyan dinars, which is a large amount for my friend who is currently out of work. 
My question is: is there among the expenses of the girl anything that may be called rental of accommodation which he is obliged to pay to the mother with the rest of the expenses? Please advise us, may Allaah reward you, as the matter depends on how legitimate this issue is, and what exactly may be included under the heading of expenses?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Spending on the child's maintenance is obligatory for his father, and is not waived in the event of the mother's wilful disobedience (nushooz) or divorce. If the child is in the mother's custody, then the maintenance should be given to her. 

Similarly if the mother with custody asks for a fee for breastfeeding a child, it should be given to her, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then if they give suck to the children for you, give them their due payment, and let each of you accept the advice of the other in a just way”

[al-Talaaq 65:6] 

See al-Mughni (11/411, 432) 

Maintenance includes: food, clothing and other expenses that the child needs such as education. Attention must be paid to the father’s situation, whether he is rich or poor, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allaah will grant after hardship, ease”

[al-Talaaq 65:7]. 

The scholars differed concerning the small child who is in his mother's custody: does the obligatory spending on his maintenance include accommodation or not? Some scholars were of the view that the father is obliged to spend on his child’s accommodation, because accommodation is essential for him. 

Other scholars were of the view that he does not need accommodation and his mother's accommodation is sufficient, because he is in her custody. 

Ibn ‘Aabideen (may Allaah have mercy on him) favoured a middle view between these two, which is a good view, namely that it is obligatory to pay for accommodation for the child if the mother has no accommodation, but if the mother does have accommodation, then the father does not have to pay for accommodation for him. He said: The point is that what matters is accommodation for the child, but this applies only if the mother does not have accommodation. But if she does have accommodation and she can have custody of the child there and he can live with her, then (the father is not obliged to pay for it), because there is no need for it. And... It is quite obvious that this is the kindest to both parties, so this is what they should act upon. End quote. 

Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen (2/562). 

As there is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning this issue, then the matter should be referred to the judge, who may judge as he sees fit, and both parties must submit to that. 

And Allaah knows best.

His father refuses to arrange his marriage until he has completed his studies

I am a young man aged 20. I work and study and I am very well off, praise be to Allaah. I want to get married but my father does not want me to get married, on the grounds that I should complete my studies. What should I do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is mustahabb to hasten to get married for the one who is able for it, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves)”

[al-Noor 24:32] 

Ibn Katheer(may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this verse: This is a command to marry off those who need to get married. A number of scholars are of the view that it is obligatory for everyone who is able for it, and they quoted as evidence the apparent meaning of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, then let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever is not able to do that, then let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.” Narrated in al-Saheehayn from the hadeeth of Ibn Mas’ood. 

In is narrated in al-Sunan via more than one isnaad that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Marry and produce offspring for I will be proud of your numbers on the Day of Resurrection.” 

Ayyim (translated here as “single”) refers to the woman who has no husband or the man who has no wife, whether they were married then separated or were never married. End quote. 

Secondly: 

The son should tell his father clearly of his wish to get married, and the father should understand the importance of that, and he should help his son to get married. Many of the fuqaha’ are of the view that that is obligatory if he is able for it. 

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Our companions said: The father must keep his son chaste if he is obliged to spend on him and if he needs to be kept chaste.  This is the view of some of the companions of al-Shaafa’i. End quote from al-Mughni (8/172). 

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: A person’s need to get married is urgent, and in some cases it may be like his need for food and drink. Hence the scholars said: It is obligatory for the one who has to spend on a person to arrange his marriage if he can afford to get married, so it is obligatory for fathers to arrange the marriages of their sons, if the sons needs to get married but cannot afford to do so. But I heard that some fathers who forget how they were when they were young, when the sons ask them to arrange their marriage, they say: Get married at your own expense. This is not permissible and it is haraam if he able to arrange his marriage. His son will dispute with him on the Day of Resurrection if he does not arrange his marriage when he is able to do so. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (18/410). 

A widespread mistake is when the father refuses to listen to his son concerning this matter, and ignores the son’s need. His need for marriage may be urgent, and as a result of delaying marriage he may fall into some kind of deviation. It is well known that people vary with regard to this need and their level of self-control in this matter. The father may be sinning by preventing his son from getting married if he needs that, as stated above. 

Some fathers give precedence to study and work over marriage in all cases, and they never consider arranging their son’s marriage before that. This is also wrong. Rather they should study the matter and weigh up the pros and cons. They should find out how much their son needs to get married, and how able he is to combine marriage and study, and which should be given priority if it is not possible to do both. Protecting one’s religious commitment is important, and takes precedence over protecting one’s physical health and wealth, so naturally it takes precedence over studying. 

Thirdly: 

The father may be excused for refusing to arrange his son’s marriage before he completes his studies, either because he sees that the son is not well-organized in handling his affairs and cannot take responsibility for himself, let alone anyone else, or he thinks that he is neglecting his studies and would neglect them even more after marriage, or he does not think that he really needs to get married, and it is only a passing fancy or he wants to imitate someone else. The son should excuse his father and strive to convince him, and explain to him the extent of his need for marriage and how able he is to take care of his wife after that. 

We ask Allaah to guide you. 

And Allaah knows best.

His health is failing and his financial situation is bad, and he wants advice

I am so gloomy i was enjoying a healthy and maintained Life but suddenly everything turned against me. i felt sick now and i dont have a good work now,i was taking care of my parents in good way but now i cant send them money and my father in his old age have started a hard work to gain some livelyhood. believe me brother i have many doubts about my health now and i am kind of sure that there is something wrong with me regarding my health but before i go and see a doctor i want to pray Allah to save me from big illness. in General everything is goin away from me and i am in so terrible time.Please give me some advices in the light of Islam which helps me to get rid of my problems.

Praise be to Allaah.

We ask Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, to take away the sickness that you are experiencing, and to relieve you of this hardship, and to replace your worry and distress with joy, happiness, ease and delight. 

You have done very well to persist in praying for forgiveness, for it is one of the greatest means of bringing what one desires and warding off what one dislikes, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“I [Nooh] said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft‑Forgiving;

11. ‘He will send rain to you in abundance,

12. ‘And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers”

[Nooh 71:10-12] 

We advise you to do several things: 

1 – Turn to Allaah and beseech Him to relieve you of the hardship that has befallen you, for He alone is able to do that, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And if Allaah touches you with harm, none can remove it but He, and if He touches you with good, then He is Able to do all things”

[al-An’aam 6:17] 

Du’aa’ is of great importance, and calamities may be the means of opening the door to communication between a person and his Lord, because a person may start enjoying conversing with his Lord and finding comfort in that and tasting its sweetness, until he forgets all the pain that he is suffering. This is a sign of Allaah’s mercy to His slave, for He is Most Merciful, Most Loving, may He be glorified. 

2 – Think positively of your Lord, may He be glorified, for He has all the beautiful qualities. Instead of expecting something bad to happen to you and calamities to strike, put your hope in your Lord and trust that He will be kind to you and set your affairs straight. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah says: ‘I am as My slave thinks I am, and I am with him when he calls on Me.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7405) and Muslim (2675). 

As you say that you have prayed a great deal for forgiveness from your sins, we should point out that one of these sins from which prayer for forgiveness and repentance is required is thinking negatively of the Lord of the Worlds, the Most Merciful, Most Loving. 

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: … that sort of attitude is the result of letting these thoughts control one's mind, so you will find such a person still having a kind of discontent with the divine decree and objecting to it with regard to His creation and His commands. Whispers (waswaas) will haunt such a person with regard to Allaah’s wisdom and mercy. Such a person needs to eliminate two things: corrupt ideas and corrupt whim and desires, and he should realize that wisdom and justice are found in that which Allaah decrees by His knowledge and wisdom, not what a person thinks on the basis of his (imperfect) knowledge and wisdom, so that his inclination will become in accordance with what Allaah decrees and commands, and he will have no inclination that opposes the decree and wisdom of Allaah. 

Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/288). 

3 – Take tangible measures to ward off what you are suffering. So get medical treatment for your sickness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has sent down the disease and the remedy, and He has created for every disease a remedy, so treat disease but do not treat it with anything that is haraam.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3874) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1633). 

Try to ward off depression by keeping yourself busy with things that will benefit you, whether in religious or worldly terms. Organize your time and try to fill it with beneficial things. Allocate some of your time to earning a living, and some for exercise, and some for studying and reading, and some to attend gatherings of dhikr and knowledge, and so on. 

4 – We say: Do not worry about provision, for Allaah decreed all things fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, and your worrying will not change anything that Allaah has decreed. Whatever Allaah has decreed for you will come to you; all you have to do is take the means that are permissible according to sharee’ah, and do whatever you are able to do. Always remember the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And no moving (living) creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit (in the uterus or grave). All is in a Clear Book (Al‑Lawh Al‑Mahfooz — the Book of Decrees with Allaah).”

[Hood 11:6] 

“And in the heaven is your provision, and that which you are promised”

[al-Dhaariyaat 51:22] 

“And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

3. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things”

[al-Talaaq 65:2-3] 

5 – We advise you to look at those who are less well-off than you; look at those who are afflicted, so that you will appreciate the blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon you. If you do that, then you will realize that no matter what befalls you, you are well off. 

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Look at the one who is at a lower level than you, and do not look at the one who is above you, for that may keep you from scorning the blessing of Allaah.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6490) and Muslim (2963)  

6 – We say to you that you have done very well to take care of your parents and treat them kindly. This is one of the rights that they have over you, and Allaah will not cause the reward of those who do good to be lost. If you are unable to spend on them because you are sick and have little income, there is no sin on you for that, and Allaah will reward you for your intention and will continue to give you, whilst you are sick, the reward for the action you used to do when you were healthy, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a person falls sick or travels, there will be recorded for him (a reward) like that of what he used to do when he was not traveling and was healthy.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2996). 

You have to honour your parents now as much as you can, and do not regard any act of kindness as too little. If you cannot afford anything, then keep in touch with them and show an interest in their affairs, and apologize to them for your current situation.

Allaah will grant your father a way our and will help him, so say a lot of du’aa’ for him. 

And Allaah knows best.

Its the responsibility of every Moslem in learning quran and tajweed and we also have to teach our kids Quran and not only the Quran teaching we should let then start to see the basic of Islam and why it was reviled you bet it was railed and verity teaching of holy Quran and with tajweed quran we read Quran we can understand better all the responses that are asked if we study koran from a qualified Quran tutor he will let you know verity core of Islam and why koran was reviled for it we should gain the ability of the Holy Writ with there translation and the context of when those verses were reviled and why and that is only potential when we carry on with not simply learning quran for beginners but gaining the ability of Quran tafseer and one query that we all is needed to ask our self that why we all are here in the world to do good acts or to do bad humen activity to promote correct or to promote incorrect and will we be answerable to any one after this life of not then the interrogation remains the identical that the reasons why we are here in the world but if yes then whom we have to reply is there any Lord All these reply exist when we go deep in to the Quran education do Quran reading and the so let us unite hands to full fill our task. We all must do quran memorization and listen to quran online when ever we have time to stay in touch

Is it permissible to propose to a divorced woman when she is still in her ‘iddah?

Is it permissible to propose to a divorced woman during her ‘iddah?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: 

Proposal of marriage may be ether explicit or implicit. Explicit means words that cannot be interpreted as meaning anything other than marriage, such as saying, “When your ‘iddah ends I will marry you” or asking her wali (guardian) explicitly to become engaged to her, and so on. 

Implicit means words that may be understood as a proposal of marriage or otherwise, such as if a man says: “Such a woman as you would be desirable as a wife” or “I am looking for a wife” or “May Allaah grant you what is good for you” and so on. 

Secondly: 

It is not permissible to give an explicit proposal of marriage to a woman who is observing ‘iddah, whether the divorce was revocable (first or second talaaq) or final, or she is observing ‘iddah following the death of her husband.  

As for implicit proposals, that depends: 

1 – If the woman is observing ‘iddah following a revocable divorce, it is not permissible to give an implicit proposal or hint at proposing, because the woman who has been given a revocable divorce is still a wife. Allaah says concerning the woman whose divorce is revocable (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation”

[al-Baqarah 2:228].  

The husband who has given his wife a revocable divorce is still called a husband. So how can a man have the right to propose marriage to a woman who is still married to her husband? 

2 – If that happens during ‘iddah following the death of the husband, or final divorce or annulment of the marriage due to a fault in either spouse or any other reason, then it is permissible to hint at a proposal of marriage, but it is not permissible to offer an explicit proposal. The fact that hinting in this case is permissible is indicated by the verse in which Allaah says (inter 

“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allaah knows that you will remember them, but do not make a promise of contract with them in secret except that you speak an honourable saying according to the Islamic law. And do not consummate the marriage until the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allaah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him. And know that Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing”

[al-Baqarah 2:235] 

Shaykh al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (p. 106): 

This is the ruling on one who is observing ‘iddah following the death of her husband, or one who has been given a final divorce by a husband who is still alive. It is haraam for anyone other than her husband to offer an explicit proposal, which is what is meant by the words “but do not make a promise of contract with them in secret.” 

As for hinting at a proposal, Allaah has stated that there is no sin in doing so. The difference between the two is that an explicit proposal cannot mean anything but marriage, so that is why it is haraam, because that may lead her to hasten the end of her ‘iddah or tell a lie about the end of her ‘iddah because she wants to get married. Moreover, there should be no explicit talk of a new marriage out of respect for her first husband’s rights during the ‘iddah.  

As for the implicit proposal, this is something that may mean marriage or something else. It is permissible for the one whose divorce is final, such as saying, “I want to get married” or “I would like you to consult me when your ‘iddah ends” and so on. This is permissible because it is not like an explicit proposal and there may be strong motives for it. The same applies if a person intends to marry a woman who is still in ‘iddah, when the ‘iddah ends (i.e., there is nothing wrong with that). This is what is referred to in the verse: “or conceal it in yourself, Allaah knows that you will remember them”. 

These are all details that precede the marriage contract, but the marriage contract itself is not permissible, “until the term prescribed is fulfilled” i.e., until the ‘iddah is over. End quote. 

See al-Mughni, 7/112 and al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (19/191). 

And Allaah knows best.

She has a physical defect that affects the hearing in one ear. Should she tell her fiancé about that?

I have a friend who has a physical defect in one ear, but it is not noticeable in her day to day dealings unless someone speaks in an unclear voice on the side where that ear is, then she cannot hear it. She has refused numerous marriage proposals for this reason, but now she is engaged to someone but she has not told him about this. She is afraid that if she tells him, he will leave her, and the time for their wedding is drawing close. If that happens it may give her a complex, and she will never agree to get married. Should she tell him and accept whatever happens or should one her relatives tell him, or should she not say anything because he will never notice?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the matter is as you describe, then your friend has to tell her fiancé about this defect, or one of her relatives must tell him, so that he will have full knowledge of the matter, because not telling him is deceiving him, and whatever Allaah has decreed will happen. No one knows where goodness lies. We ask Allaah to bless her with a righteous husband. 

If the husband finds out later on that his wife cannot hear well in one of her ears, and that she was suffering from that before she got married and did not tell him, that may upset him and he may regard it as deceit, and he may hate his wife because of that. So she has to tell him now, hoping that the marriage will last and so as to set things straight and so as to ward off any negative consequences. 

The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked: I have a sister who is affected by the evil eye, and someone has proposed marriage to her. Do I have to tell him that she is affected by the evil eye? If I do not tell him, am I regarded as deceiving him? 

They replied: 

The guardian (wali) has to explain to the one who is proposing marriage any defects or sicknesses that are present in the woman concerned, if the man is not aware of that, so that he will have full knowledge, because not telling him about that is deceiving him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever deceives us is not one of us.” End quote. 

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (18/62). 

And Allaah knows best.

Marriage proposal from one who smokes and drinks, and doesn’t pray regularly

A young man proposed marriage to me after I passed the age of thirty. He smokes and drinks, and neglects prayer, but he honours his mother, treats people well and works hard. 
My brothers agreed to him, but I feel that they are fed up because I am still with them and am not married. 
Can I agree to marry him and try to change him for the better? Please tell me what I should do?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Our answer to you will consist of three messages in which there is advice: to them (your brothers), to the suitor and to you. This is how we will answer your question. 

Firstly: 

A message to your brothers: 

1 – Allaah has commanded you to look for that which is in the best interests of your sister in both religious and worldly terms, which includes choosing a good husband who is suitable for your sister, and not preventing her from marrying one who is suitable. You know that marriage cannot be done without a wali (guardian), and that one of the most important duties of the wali is to look for a good husband and make a good choice, even if that means the guardian offering his sister or daughter in marriage to righteous people. Marrying your sister to one who is not suitable or preventing a suitable man from proposing marriage to her is a betrayal of the trust with which Islam has entrusted you. 

2 – You should note that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told you of the qualities to be found in the man who is suitable for your sister, which may be summed up in two characteristics: religious commitment and good character. These two characteristics, in sha Allaah, will guarantee good and happiness for your sister and her children. The one who is religiously committed will take care of her rights and he will do what Allaah has commanded him to do towards her and her children. He will encourage her to do good and obey Allaah, and will warn her against evil and sin. 

His good character will prevent him from mistreating her, and will make him continue to treat her well; if he dislikes one characteristic in her, he will be pleased with another, so he will be patient in putting up with any crookedness in her nature which Allaah has created in her, and if he wants to leave her he will do so in a kind manner and will give her her rights. 

3 – You should note that it is not permissible for you to marry her to a kaafir, and it is not good for an evildoer to marry your sister. Marriage to a kaafir means that the marriage is invalid, and marriage to an evildoer is a betrayal of the trust and a failure to protect her.  

The one who does not pray is not a Muslim. The fact that he is a kaafir is mentioned in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, and that was the consensus of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them). The one who prays but neglects prayer in congregation is an evildoer (faasiq). The one who smokes is also an evildoer, as is the one who drinks alcohol, which is the mother of all evils. Such a man should not be married and he cannot be trusted to take care of his wife and protect her honour, and he cannot be trusted to take care of his children. 

Allaah has made you the guardians in charge of arranging your sister’s marriage, and He has enjoined upon you to fulfil the trust and be sincere towards her in the best of ways. This means that you should find out  how religiously committed  the one who proposes marriage to your sister is, and how good his character is. If you find that he does not pray, then do not give your sister in marriage to him, because by not praying he is a kaafir. But you must advise him. If he is careless about praying on time or he does not pray in congregation, or he drinks alcohol, then do not give your sister in marriage to him either, because the trust requires you to marry her to one whose religious commitment and character are good. 

4 –Fear Allaah with regard to your sister, and do not mistreat her. Do not be upset by the delay in her getting married or her remaining single. She is putting up with worries which we do not think that you men could bear. Instead of that you should try to support her and help her to be patient, and you should keep her good company, until she is blessed with a righteous husband and good children who will give her good company.  

Secondly: 

Our message to the suitor: 

1 – Remember that Allaah, may He be exalted, has judged the one who does not pray to be a kaafir. The same is mentioned in the Sunnah, and the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were unanimously agreed upon that. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“But if they repent [by rejecting Shirk (polytheism) and accept Islamic Monotheism], perform As-Salaah (Iqaamat-as-Salaah) and give Zakaah, then they are your brethren in religion”

[al-Tawbah 9:11] 

It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.” Narrated by Muslim (82). 

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Shaqeeq said: The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not think that failing to do any deed counted as kufr, except prayer. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2622). If you are not praying, then you must repent from this deed and you have to go back to praying regularly, as Allaah has enjoined you, at the proper times fulfilling the conditions of prayer and doing all the obligatory parts of prayer. 

2 – You should note that neglecting the prayer until the time for it is over is one of the deeds for which Allaah has warned of punishment. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”

[Maryam 19:59] 

“Those who delay their Salaah (prayer from their stated fixed times)”

[al-Maa’oon 107:5] 

3 – As for alcohol, how evil it is. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), and gambling, and Al‑Ansaab (stone altars for sacrifices to false gods) and Al‑Azlaam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaytaan’s (Satan’s) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful”

[al-Maa’idah 5:90] 

And the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every intoxicant is khamr and every intoxicant is haraam. Whoever drinks khamr in this world and dies when he is addicted to it and has not repented, will not drink it in the Hereafter.” Agreed upon. 

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every intoxicant is haraam. Allaah has made a covenant that whoever drinks intoxicants, He will give him to drink of the mud of al-khabaal.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, what is the mud of al-khabaal? He said: “The sweat of the people of Hell, or the juice of the people of Hell.” Narrated by Muslim (2002). 

And he said: “Khamr is the mother of all evils. Whoever drinks it, his prayers will not be accepted for forty days, and if he dies with that in his stomach he will have died a death of Jaahiliyyah.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani, classed as hasan by al-Albaani. 

4 – You should note that smoking is haraam, and it destroys wealth and the body. Allaah will ask you about your wealth and on what you spent it. If smoking is the cause of your death then you will come under the ruling on one who committed suicide, which is a major sin. 

5 – We appreciate your honouring your parents, especially your mother. We also appreciate your good treatment of other people and your attention to your work. But you must note that your not praying or your shortcomings with regard to prayer, and the fact that you smoke, mean that the guardians must refuse to marry you to their sister, and the woman must refuse to accept you as a husband. We hope that you will review your deeds and make all of them good and righteous, then you will deserve to be the husband of a righteous woman, and you and she can build a righteous household based on the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and form a good and blessed family. 

Thirdly: 

Our message to you:  

1 – We advise you to be patient and adhere steadfastly to the truth, and we do not advise you to compromise on the issue of religious commitment and good character in those who propose to you, even if you remain unmarried for a long time. Women are weak by nature, and a woman may marry a man who commits sins with the aim of guiding him, but many women have failed in that. So do not follow this path which many have followed before you, without succeeding. It is said that a woman follows the way of her husband. 

2 – If your brothers want to insist on your marrying this suitor, then they must understand why you are refusing to marry him, and they should tell him frankly about that, and take a promise from him that he will adhere to the laws of Allaah. That may be done with the knowledge of his family, so as to ensure his seriousness about keeping his promise. There should be a lapse of time to prove whether he is actually keeping his promise, before the marriage contract is completed. 

3 – If we exclude his not praying, the other sins that he is committing do not affect the validity of the marriage contract, but we advise you to do that which is best. If you choose to marry him in spite of all the problems he has, with the hope that he will be guided, that is up to you. Rather we say this so that you will not think that marrying him – in the latter case – is haraam, although we prefer for you to be patient and make du’aa’, so that Allaah will give you a way out and send you a husband who is better than him. 

4 – You should note that married life with one who is religiously committed and of good character is a happy life in which a woman can establish her household in accordance with Qur’aan and Sunnah, and develop herself and raise her children in accordance with that which our Lord loves and is pleased with. But a life with one who commits sin will bring worries and distress and a focus on worldly matters, and a failure to attain the pinnacle of good morals. Sin drags a person to further sin, until his heart becomes blackened and he does not acknowledge anything good or condemn anything bad. The one who is of good character and religiously committed may occasionally do something bad, just as the one who commits sin may occasionally do something good, but marriage, partnership, love and brotherhood can only be based on that which is present and established, not that which is hoped for or impossible. 

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

The most important characteristics for which a woman should choose a suitor are good character and religious commitment. Wealth and good lineage are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the suitor should be religiously committed and of good character, because the woman will not lose anything with a husband who is religiously committed and of good character. If he keeps her, he will keep her on reasonable terms and if he divorces her he will release her with kindness. Moreover the one who is religiously committed and of good character will be a blessing for her and her children, and she will learn good attitudes and religion from him. But if he is not like that, then she should keep away from him, especially some of those who are negligent about performing prayers or who are known to drink alcohol – Allaah forbid. As for those who do not pray at all, they are kuffaar and it is not permissible for them to marry believing women, and they are not permissible for (believing women) either. What matters is that the believing woman should focus on good character and religious commitment. As for good lineage, if that is present too, then it is better, because the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him.” But if they are socially compatible, that is better.

Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah (2/702) 

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

If the suitor does not pray in congregation, then he is a faasiq (evildoer) who is disobeying Allaah and His Messenger, and is going against the consensus of the Muslims, which is that praying in congregation is one of the best acts of worship. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (23/222): The scholars are unanimously agreed that it – i.e., praying in congregation – is one of the most emphasized acts of worship, best acts of obedience, and greatest symbols of Islam. End quote. 

But this evil deed does not put him beyond the pale of Islam, so it is permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman, but someone else who adheres more strictly to the religion and  good attitudes is better than him, even if he is less wealthy and of an inferior lineage, based on what is said in the hadeeth: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him.” They said: O Messenger of Allaah, even if he has some fault? He said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) in marriage to him,” three times. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi. And it is narrated in al-Saheehayn and elsewhere from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

These two ahaadeeth indicate that the first things that should be sought in both men and women are religious commitment and good character. What the guardian who fears Allaah and takes his responsibility seriously should do is to pay attention to the teaching of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), because he will be asked about that on the Day of Resurrection. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And (remember) the Day (Allaah) will call to them, and say: What answer gave you to the Messengers?”

[al-Qasas 28:65] 

“Then surely, We shall question those (people) to whom it (the Book) was sent and verily, We shall question the Messengers.

7. Then surely, We shall narrate unto them (their whole story) with knowledge, and indeed We have not been absent”

[al-A’raaf 7:6-7] 

But if the suitor does not pray at all, whether in congregation or alone, then he is a kaafir who is beyond the pale of Islam who must be asked to repent. If he repents and starts to pray, then Allaah will accept his repentance if it is sincerely for the sake of Allaah, otherwise he should be executed as a kaafir and apostate, and he should be buried somewhere other than the Muslim graveyard, without being washed or shrouded or having the funeral prayer offered for him. The evidence that he is a kaafir is to be found in the texts of the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). – He quoted the evidence for the one who does not pray being a kaafir, then he said: 

As it is clear from the texts of Qur’aan and Sunnah that the one who does not pray is a kaafir whose kufr puts him beyond the pale of Islam, it is not permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman, according to the texts and scholarly consensus. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”

[al-Baqarah 2:221] 

“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”

[al-Mumtahanah 60:10] 

The Muslims are unanimously agreed upon what is indicated by these two texts, that it is haraam for a Muslim woman to marry a kaafir. Based on that, if he gives a woman whose guardian he is, whether his daughter or anyone else, in marriage to a man who does not pray, the marriage is not valid and the woman does not become permissible to that man as the result of that marriage contract, because it is a contract which is not in accordance with the command of Allaah and His Messenger. It is narrated from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does an action that is not in accordance with this matter of ours will have it rejected.” 

So if a marriage is to be annulled because the husband gives up praying, unless he repents and comes back to Islam by praying, so what about marrying someone who is already known not to pray? 

To sum up: with regard to this suitor who does not pray, if he does not pray in congregation then he is a faasiq (evildoer) whose evil deed does not make him a kaafir, and it is permissible to marry him in that case, but one who is religiously committed and of good character is better than him. 

If he does not pray at all, either in congregation or alone, then he is a kaafir and apostate who is beyond the pale of Islam, and it is not permissible for him to marry a Muslim woman under any circumstances, unless he repents sincerely and starts to pray and adhere to the religion of Islam. 

Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (12/question no 31). 

Seek the help of Allaah with patience, prayer and du’aa’, and we ask Allaah to make you steadfast in obeying Him, and to bless you with a righteous husband and good offspring. 

And Allaah knows best.