Praise be to Allaah.
Before answering the
 question, we should say that the Muslim is enjoined to lower his gaze and
 avoid looking at that which Allaah has forbidden. Allaah says
 (interpretation of the meaning): 
“Tell the believing men
 to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their
 private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily,
 Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30].
There is great divine
 wisdom behind this injunction, for Allaah is Most Merciful and Kind towards
 His slaves, so His laws relieve them of hardship and difficulty and the
 causes of mental and physical torment. It is well known that the eye is the
 messenger of the heart , so if he allows himself to look at beautiful
 images, his heart will become attached to these images, and these images
 will reside in his heart, then in most cases he will not be able to get what
 he wants so he will feel anguish.  
Therefore Islam blocks the
 way to this suffering, by enjoining us to lower the gaze. So the Muslim has
 to follow this command in order to please his Lord and for his own peace of
 mind. 
What you have referred to
 in your question is correct – that if a person likes something and desires
 it, then he has to prevent himself from attaining it in any way but that
 which Allaah has permitted, and he should make his desires in accordance
 with what the Messenger of Allaah (S) brought. This is the characteristic of
 the believer. 
With regard to your
 question, the answer is that it is permissible to pray for a kaafir to be
 guided as is indicated in the saheeh ahaadeeth. It is proven that the
 Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed for the
 tribe of Daws to be guided, and he said: “O Allaah, guide Daws.” Narrated by
 al-Bukhaari (2937) and Muslim 92524). 
Al-Tirmidhi (5/82) narrated
 that Abu Moosa (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to
 sneeze in the presence of the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings
 of Allaah be upon him), hoping that he would say “May Allaah have mercy on
 you” to them. But he said: “May Allaah guide you and set your affairs
 straight.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar
 al-‘Asqallaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Fath al-Baari
 (10/604): The hadeeth of Abu Moosa indicates that they are included in the
 general command to pray for one who sneezes, but there is a special prayer
 for them, which is praying that they be guided and their affairs set
 straight, and there is nothing wrong with praying for them in that manner.
 End quote.  
The great scholar Ibn
 Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Adaab
 al-Shar’iyyah (1/368), speaking about what is and is not permissible to
 say when praying for a kaafir: As for praying for him to be guided and so
 on, this is clearly permissible. End quote. 
The one who prays for him
 should have a good intention when saying this du’aa’, which is to attain the
 pleasure of Allaah by bringing this woman to Islam and saving her from the
 punishment of Allaah, and other such good intentions. There is nothing wrong
 with also intending to marry her.  

 
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