Not answering your wife does not count as a talaaq, neither
does speaking to her angrily.
No matter how much you may think of divorce, or intend and
resolve to do it, talaaq (divorce) does not take place until and unless you
utter the words of talaaq. That is because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has forgiven for my ummah
that which is whispered to them and which crosses their minds, so long as
they do not act upon it or speak of it.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6664; Muslim, 127)
Based on this, according to the scholars if a man thinks of
talaaq, that does not mean anything unless he speaks of it.
Indeed, according to some scholars, if a person is suffering
from waswaas his talaaq does not count even if he utters it, so long as he
did not have the intention of talaaq. Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have
mercy on him) said:
“The talaaq of a person
who is suffering from waswaas does not count even if he utters the words, if
that was not done deliberately, because this utterance happened because of
waswaas, not because of his will or intention. Rather it was forced upon him
because of the strength of the waswaas and his lack of self-control. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘There is no
divorce under compulsion.’ So this divorce does not count, because he did
not really want to do that. This was something that was forced upon him with
no intention or choice on his part to do that, so this does not mean that
talaaq has occurred.”
(Fataawa Islamiyyah, compiled by Shaykh Muhammad ibn
‘Abd al-‘Azeez al-Musnad, 3/277)
We advise you not to pay
any attention to these whispers, and to ignore them, and to do the opposite
of what they are calling you to do. For these whispers (waswaas) come from
the Shaytaan to cause grief to those who believe. The best way to deal with
them is to remember Allaah a great deal (dhikr), to seek refuge with Allaah
from the accursed Shaytaan, to keep away from sins and wrong actions which
are the means by which Iblees gains control over the sons of Adam. Allaah
says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, he [the Shaytaan] has no power over those who
believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allaah)”
[al-Nahl 16:99]
It is worth quoting here what Ibn Hajar al-Haythami (may
Allaah have mercy on him) said about dealing with waswasah in his book
al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kubra, 1/149. This is what he said:
“He was asked about the
problem of waswasah (insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan), and whether
there is a remedy for it.
He replied by saying that there is an effective remedy for
it, which is to ignore them completely, no matter how frequently they may
come to mind. When these whispers are ignored, they do not become
established, rather they go away after a short time, as many people have
experienced. But for those who pay attention to them and act upon them, they
increase until they make him like one who is insane or even worse, as we see
among many of those who have suffered from them and paid attention to them
and to the devil whose task it is to insinuate these whispers, whom the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against
when he said, “Beware the whispers with regard to water (i.e., wudoo’) which
is caused by a devil called al-Walhaan” – because that causes a person to go
to extremes with regard to doing wudoo’, as was explained in Sharh
Mishkaat al-Anwaar.
In al-Saheehayn there is a report which supports what
has been mentioned above, which is that whoever suffers from waswaas should
seek refuge with Allaah and turn away from the waswaas. So think about this
effective remedy which was taught by the one who does not speak of his own
whims and desires to his ummah, and understand that whoever is deprived of
this is deprived of all goodness, because waswasah comes from the Shaytaan,
according to scholarly consensus, and the accursed one (the Shaytaan) has no
other desire than to make the believers go astray, make them confused, make
their life a misery, cause them distress to the extent that they leave Islam
without realizing it.
“Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take
(treat) him as an enemy”
[Faatir 35:6 – interpretation of the meaning]
According to another
hadeeth, the one who suffers from waswasah should say, “Aamantu Billaahi
wa bi rusulihi (I believe in Allaah and in His Messengers).”
Undoubtedly, whoever thinks of the paths of the Messengers of Allaah,
especially our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) will
find that his path and his law is easy and clear, with no hardship in it.
“… and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship”
[al-Hajj 22:78 – interpretation of the meaning]
Whoever ponders this and
believes in it sincerely, the problem of waswasah and listening to the
Shaytaan will go away. In the book of Ibn al-Sunni it is narrated via
‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), “Whoever suffers from this
waswaas, let him say ‘Aamantu Billaahi wa bi rusulihi (I believe in
Allaah and in His Messengers)’, three times, and it will go away from him.”
Al-‘Izz ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam and others mentioned something
similar to the above. They said: the treatment for waswasah is to believe
that this is an idea from the Shaytaan and that Iblees is the one who is
bringing these thoughts to his mind, and he should strive to fight him. Then
he will have the reward of the mujaahid, because he is fighting the enemy of
Allaah. If he does that, then the Shaytaan will flee from him. This is what
mankind has been tested with from the beginning of time, and Allaah has
given him (Iblees) some power over man as a test for him, so that Allaah may
show the truth to be true and falsehood to be false, even though the
disbelievers may hate that.
In Muslim, hadeeth no. 2203, it is narrated that ‘Uthmaan ibn
Abi’l-‘Aas said: “The Shaytaan was interfering with my prayer and recitation
of Qur’aan. He [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
] said: ‘That is a devil called Khanzab, so seek refuge with Allaah from him
and spit drily to your left three times.’ I did that, and Allaah took him
away from me.”
This hadeeth proves the point we are making, which is that
waswasah can only overpower the one who is ignorant and confused and does
not know what’s what. But the one who has knowledge and understanding will
the Sunnah and keep away from bid’ah. The worst of the innovators are those
who follow waswaas, hence Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated
that his shaykh al-Rabee’ – who was the imam of the people of his time – was
the fastest of the people in relieving himself and doing wudoo’.
Ibn Hurmuz used to be slow in relieving himself and in doing
wudoo’, and he used to say “I have a problem, do not follow my example.”
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said that one of the
scholars thought it was mustahabb for the one who was affected by waswasah
with regard to his wudoo or prayer to say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah, for
when the Shaytaan hears dhikr (remembrance of Allaah) he slinks away, and
Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah is the best of dhikr, and the most effective
remedy for warding off waswasah is to remember Allaah a great deal.
We ask Allaah to take away the waswasah that you are
suffering and to increase us and you in faith, righteousness and piety.
And Allaah knows best.
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